What Fresh Hell Is This?

don't kill the messenger

ugh, this is what I was dreading.

One of our salespeople called up to ask about an issue with their commission, I knew this was going to lead to some major drama. I had nothing to do with the decision making, I think it was a bad call. BUT, I have do crunch the numbers I'm given, and am in the unfortunate position of delivering the bad news.

So he calls me to ask what's going on, and I have to explain. He blows up (not at me), but about the whole situation and says he's quitting and derailing the deal that set this whole mess in motion. Now is when things get really awkward. I'm obligated to tell the higher-ups about the phone call. I didn't leave work until almost 7:30, and RM was still on the phone, putting his own spin on what had happened.

The worst part is this is only the first of two. The same thing is going to happen with another deal and another salesguy. I can't wait.........

nervous 'nessa

I have no idea what JM is going to ask me... his voice mail only said he wanted to speak to me before the end of the day. But he was calling me ten minutes before he boarded a plane from Florida to California, so it's going to be hours before he calls me back. It's obviously something about working for him, but I don't know in what capacity. My savior JJ has my back and said she'd try to steer this thing in the direction that's most advantageous for me.

So now we play the waiting game...

time flies when you're having pun

Recently, I've found myself putting pen to paper much more than fingertips to keyboard. I'm an old school journal keeper at heart, and it's much harder for me to keep up with this online format. I can't get over the fear of putting something too personal "out there" for everyone to see. But in all honesty, who's looking? The handful of people who know about my blog are the people who've probably already heard the personal things I'd be writing about. But the paranoia persists, and I continue to just get over it already.

It seems incredible that summer is, for all intents and purposes, over. Growing up, the fair was always the signal for the end of summertime fun and frolicking. The fair has come and gone, and my yearly funnel cake  quota has been met. Sadly it was without my HLM this year, as the scheduling just didn't work out. But there's always next year, or IHOP if we get a hankering for some fried dough before the next fair season. I did have two lovely nights at the fair, the best being the second night. Lady E and I went to see the Bangles  perform, and although the Motels were probably a little better, Hoffs and the girls gave us a magical encore. Sitting under the stars with my friend, we've both got a little beer buzz going, listening to "Eternal Flame" as the end of the night fireworks go off behind us. It was like something out of a summer camp movie or a Babysitters Club  book.

Work has been keeping me so busy these last few weeks. I'm amazed everyday when I look up and see it's already 3 or 4 in the afternoon. My boss and I have opted to do pilates twice a week, we've both started seeing and feeling the effects and decided to kick up our torture sessions. Actually, it's not all that bad. Some of the exercises leave you battered and bruised, but for the most part it's a fun class. Just as I start to run out of steam, the instructor says the magic words, "this is really great for taking inches off your inner and outer thighs". Suddenly, I experience a surge of energy and can do another set without so much as a hint of pain. It's all about finding the proper motivation and inspiration.

And now for my emotional warm and fuzzy conclusion... A conversation I had recently with a friend really lifted my spirits. Surprisingly touching words from an unexpected source, it was just what I needed. To protect his identity and tough guy image, I won't go into specifics, but I always suspected there was a softy under all that facial hair.

higher ground

I have been in a ridiculously high spirits for the last few days, and I can't quite put my finger on the source of this extra jovial mood. It could be the new Harry Potter book, the slight increase in carb and cheese intake (pizza for the first time in months), or perhaps it's merely a spike in hormone levels that's worked in my favor. My first instinct is to dig until I've uncovered the reason, but I this time I think I'll just roll with it.

Tonight is the long-awaited night out for chocolates, wine and massages. I am giddy with anticipation. I am made all the more giddy with plans for sushi with friends further on the horizon. Lest you think all my moods and plans revolve around food (although, truth be told, many do), there are also a smattering of cultural outings on the agenda. Museum memberships have been renewed and schedules are being coordinated, I can't wait!

amuse bouche

Today I will officially meet "adorable French waiter". I don't know what I'm more excited about, the guy or the food he'll be serving.

Two and half weeks until celebrate the first anniversary of my 30th birthday. And although the thirties aren't as bad as I thought they'd be, it's still so weird to hear myself say "I'm thirty". I try to remember what I thought I'd be doing at this age when I was a kid, and I honestly can't remember. I don't think I ever thought that far ahead. I remember thinking my teen years would be magical. Thirteen meant freedom, breasts and seeing Duran Duran live. My mother, genetics and the fickle nature of popular music worked against me on all three counts respectively.

Au revoir, folks.

the irony is thick

Hmm... okay, where to start? An awkward situation, which had been nestling comfortably in the background, has recently been forced into the forefront. I'll admit, I haven't handled the situation very well because I'm stuck about what to do. I've been placed in an extremely difficult position and, for better or worse, I froze up. I decided to let phase one pass and tackle the problem during phase two.

Well, it seems like my idea pretty much blew up in my face. The silly thing is that my lack of action was called out via myspace. Yes. I was demoted from someone's top friends list. The horror! There was a blog with veiled references to the situation and then came the de-friending. The person calling me out for not being honest and avoiding the issue didn't confront me... they blogged about it and revamped their friends list. Obviously, I'm not the only one who is avoiding confrontations.

The irony continues, gentle readers... I'm the one who will always defend this person, when it comes to "true friends" I should be on the top of the list. I've known this person as long as I can remember and I'm the first to admit we've had our ups and downs. But I've never turned my back on this person even when others have pressured me to do so. Do I complain about this person? Yes. But I'm also fiercely protective and would never sever ties with them. Part of the reason I've been at such a loss for the appropriate course of action is that I don't want to hurt this person and I want to handle this delicate situation as best I can.

So am I being that much more passive aggressive by writing this blog? I don't know. Probably. I honestly doubt this person even knows this blog exists, so the chances of them reading it are quite slim. I'm not into airing dirty laundry in public, but in all fairness... this is my personal blog and I need to vent.

What would Brenda Walsh do?

Face the music

My plan to let an awkward problem sit on the back burner has been thwarted. I'm going to have to face this thing sooner than I thought...

ROCK *me* HARD PLACE

Why do I always find myself in the middle of these sorts of situations? I try my best to avoid such drama, but it always seems to find me. No me gusta.

In other news... I managed to get candle wax in my hair on Sunday. It was a hair-flipping gone wrong. I think I'm just going to get one of these: